About something. – Page 9

The Real War on Women

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What do these pictures have in common?

Well one, they’re portraying females as strong, violent, and/or brash. They fit perfectly into this neo-feminism narrative of I AM WOMAN, I AM STRONG.

Second, I absolutely hate them. Coincidentally, I also hate this neo-feminism.

I am a 27 year old woman who has her PhD and makes a decent income. And I didn’t have to use my body in any sexual way to get my PhD or to make my living now. And this isn’t because I have well connected, affluent parents that have paid my way, either. My life is paid for by me, and it has been for a while (except my phone service – thanks Dad!). And truly, I am thankful for all the feminists that came before me that made all of this possible.

BUT.. WHAT HAVE WE COME TO??

This new type of feminism is awful awful awful. It’s like we saw everything bad about the culture of men that drove the imbalance and inequality between sexes in the early 20^th century and instead of working to improve men’s culture, we destroyed women’s culture. For example – men could get away with promiscuity and objectifying women. Now thanks to neo-feminism, women can now get away with promiscuity and objectifying men! HOORAY! Then, men prioritized work over families. Now thanks to neo-feminism, women can now prioritize work over their families too! Then, men could get away with being crude. Now thanks to neo-feminism, women can parade around with vagina-hats on! WOW! Progress!

So yes, congratulations millenials – the sexes are pretty equal. Equally awful. *golf clap*

AND.. in the process .. we’ve rejected traditional femininity as being lesser. Instead of adding value to traditionally feminine qualities, we’ve tried to prove that females can be just as masculine as males. “You’re right,” neo-feminists say, throwing up their hands. “The way to power and success is to be masculine. Therefore, women will prove just how masculine they can be.” So in a twisted, ironic sense, we’re actually agreeing with men who have trampled and sneered on women throughout history.

Here’s the thing: I do not want my nieces to need to learn how to choke someone out to be considered a true woman. I will take no pride in them loudly and obnoxiously referencing their vaginas at every opportunity. No pride will swell in my heart if I find out that they have had sex with many, many men without getting pregnant or *BONUS* not caring or loving any of these men. I want them to giggle and dream and play dress up and get in trouble for getting into their mom’s make up. I want them to have the freedom and security to be silly and smart and sassy and soft.

little-girls-walking-773024_960_720 — I love this. Girlhood. (from pixabay free images)

Let’s stop the REAL war on women .. on femininity. Yes, let’s let women get educated and hold jobs and not be shamed for having a figure … but let’s also not take the worst, most primal part of men and adopt it as our own.

Because *drum roll* women will never be as good at being masculine as men are. (Before you get indignant and start throwing dildos at me, think about if you’d get offended if I said that men will never be as good at being feminine as women are. If you’re offended by that too, I just can’t help you.) Can women be strong? Of course. But even a very strong female could still get their ass kicked by most males. So I’m all for taking self-defense classes and not being ridiculously helpless, but at the end of the day – unless we spontaneously mutate and our biology changes drastically – or maybe cast off the aversion to growing robust moustachios and start injecting ourselves with testosterone – men are still going to be able to physically dominate us. That is scary, if men’s culture doesn’t change.

I propose a change in the next generation of feminism: How about men AND women get some accountability for their sexual activity. How about men AND women stop objectifying each other. How about men AND women start prioritizing their families over work. How about men AND women stop being crude. Instead of working to make both men and women awful, let’s work to make both men and women great.

Evil Triumphs When Men Do Bad, Stupid, or Ineffective Things

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” ~Edmund Burke

This quote has begun to annoy me immensely. I’ve seen it used by conservatives and liberals alike as a rallying cry for political action. Yet usually the call for action of conservatives is to counteract whatever cause liberals want “good men” to act on. So who is good, and what is evil?

There are so many assumptions in this quote that are almost hardly ever true — 1) They, (the quoter) are good 2) Their followers / friend groups are good 3) They know what’s evil and what isn’t evil 4) action of any kind by good people can defeat evil.

Prob numero uno: what makes people good? Well… what they do!* So if good men are doing nothing, are they really good? And if good men do something with good intentions that has unintended consequences that end up producing bad, are those good men now bad? Ack, the circularity! Prob numero dos: If good men do “something” that is just all-round ineffective and ends up changing nothing, wouldn’t evil still triumph? Ack, the incompleteness!

Let’s put some of this in more concrete terms and use gun control activists and 2nd amendment supporters as a relevant example. Pro-gunners say “Rise up good men and defend our 2nd amendment rights so we can protect ourselves against the tyranny of government and rando criminals!” and anti-gunnerssay “Rise up good people** and add constraints to the 2nd amendment so the government can protect us from rando criminals!” Both of these groups think they know what the greater evil is, and both of these groups think they are the “good” ones.

Let’s be as generous as possible, and agree that the majority of people that belong to either group truly want a safe society. So who’s evil? Probably neither, really. But if one of those groups does “something,” the other group will very likely see the outcome as evil. And if one of those groups does “nothing,” the other group will think they have defeated evil. Also, let’s say either is right. What do they do? Should pro-gun people run around town shooting their AR-15s in the air to prove a point? Should anti-gun people raid people’s houses, steal their guns, and melt them down to use as gardening tools? Even if neither pro-gun people or anti-gun people are evil, surely you can appreciate how they could both start acting in ways that many people on both sides would see as evil. And evil would triumph.

I guess the main point of this ramble is that there has to be a balance somewhere between passive apathy and taking the time to think about and research 1) what’s really “evil” in any given situation and 2) what sort of action would actually be “good.” There is a difference between stubbornly refusing to act in the face of evil – when there is an obvious good action – and taking time to learn and understand at least *some* of the facets of a really complicated issue. Similarly, there is a difference between acting emotionally, passionately, “spinning your wheels,”etc. and actually doing something effective.

Now the main point of the main point: I want to be willing to consider that the outcome of my actions, no matter how well intended, could be evil. And if I’m going to act, I want to take some time to think about the best course of action — and that will likely involve having non-antagonistic convos with people who do not see the world exactly as I do.

Btdubs I’m not trying to be wishy-washy and say there is no truth or no evil or whatever, but I have Christian friends who would be disgusted by the political actions of my Christian parents, and my parents would be appalled by some of their activism. So especially within this community – which should be empowered by the same Spirit and working toward the same end goal – we should be willing to at least entertain the idea for 30 seconds that we could learn something from our sibs in the Lort!

This is good stuff y’all. I’m going to applaud myself.

😉 Dr. Galloswag out!

— EDITORIAL NOTES —

*I actually think that someone’s heart makes them good or evil. But as Jesus said, “you will know [evil men] by their fruit,” and as James said “I will show you my faith BY my good works.” The point is- only God knows what’s truly in our own and others hearts and so we can use people’s behavior as a proxy for where their heart is.

**Because pc, yo

https://www.facebook.com/galloblog/posts/1886692994941355

Chronic smoker grateful for support of Alternative Health Community

ATLANTA- Local resident Hank Womack has been smoking for the past 29 years. At first, he was suffocated by a judgmental community of “health experts” and anti-health family members who constantly tried to shove their own views on air quality and lung function down his throat. “They could see how much I got a kick out of smoking, but still they wanted to take it away from me. Probably because they are scared and don’t really understand cigarettes or lung function,” Hank confided in me. “I mean, at first I tried to quit. But it was mighty hard to impossible. If quitting is that hard, then continuing has to be good for me… This is who I am- Hank the Smoker.”

Hank continued to explain that he grew up in a family that was brainwashed by Western medicine, and were completely closed minded to alternative views on smoking. His family, in the name of health, would subject him to odious lectures on cigarette toxicity, even going so far as to suggest he end friendships with other habitual smokers. So when Hank was about 32 years old, he cut family ties and found an alternative health community that recognized inhaling tar in your lungs as a legitimate form of breathing. “They welcomed me with open arms.. made me feel comfortable,” Hank wheezed.

This small but dedicated alternative health community reanalyzed and reinterpreted decades of research on smoking, and a panel of chronic smokers concluded that the findings of these studies were being inappropriately applied to smokers. One of their major conclusions is that most studies were done on the harmful effects of smoking Salem cigarettes in night clubs, whereas most smokers now enjoy Marlboros in parks with their families. “This is a radically different context than the context of these landmark studies. Therefore, we reject the general consensus of the medical community that cigarettes are harmful for health,” they issued in an official statement.

Hank added his own logic, “I feel so good when I smoke.. how can anything that makes me feel this good not be good for me?” He paused for a brief fit of coughing, which ended with him hacking blood into a napkin. “Nothing would be more anti-health than taking these away from me,” he finally rasped. This is in line with his alternative health community’s tag line “Healthy is What Makes You Happy.”

Hank plans to dedicate the rest of life freeing other smokers from the dogma of the mainstream medical community.

Men aren’t marrying these days because women are pathetic.

EDITOR NOTE, 02/22/2018 6:51 PM EST: Attention woman-haters —- this post was written satirically. If you are riding the female-bashing train, note that sharing this post because you agree with the title 1) proves that you did not actually read &/or comprehend this post for it’s original purpose and 2) boosts the hits for a blog managed by a single woman who normally writes about her own weird love-life, Christianity, or rando stuff that makes her cackle. SO if you are all about spewing vitriol about women, this ain’t the post or the blog for you.

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It’s no secret that there are so many incredible single men in the world. They’re smart, funny and basically total catches… so where are all the great girls? The real reason so many men are still rolling solo is much simpler: most girls aren’t worth dating.

MEN ARE BECOMING MORE FIT, ACCOMPLISHED AND INDEPENDENT WHILE GIRLS ARE LETTING THEMSELVES GO. Men have so much to offer a potential partner and the world at large — they’re strong, ambitious and totally self-sufficient. Meanwhile, girls seem to have thrown femininity and true beauty out the window and assume they can get away with the bare minimum. No thanks — they can take that laziness elsewhere.

THEY WON’T PUT UP WITH BULLCRAP. Sure, men could have a relationship if they were willing to look the other way when manipulative liars and skanks pull their crap with them, but why should they? They’ve seen all the same crap and heard all the same excuses time and time again and they respect themselves too much to accept them for the sake of being in a relationship. They’d much rather be on our own.

THEIR STANDARDS ARE HIGH AND THEY’LL STAY THAT WAY. Since men know their worth, they won’t accept anything less than what they deserve from girls. Girls need to be on their level in every sense of the word and if they’re not prepared to do that, men aren’t prepared to date them.

GIRLS THINK THEIR OPTIONS ARE ENDLESS, BUT MEN WON’T SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST. Part of the problem with modern dating is that girls think all it takes to move on to the next man is a quick right swipe on their phone screens. Ghosting and benching are par for the course, but if men so much as get a glimpse of bitchy tendencies, they’re out of there before she can open Tinder.

MEN’S LIVES ARE ALREADY FULL — IF A GIRL CAN’T ADD TO IT, SHE’S NOT WORTH MAKING ROOM FOR. Men have got busy careers, amazing friends, loving families and passions to pursue. Their schedules are booked solid. That means if they’re making room for a girl, she’d better bring something new and worthwhile to the table. If she’s just looking to get her dinner paid for or wants to “hang out” until she figures out what she wants to do with her life, she can go elsewhere.

MANY MEN JUST AREN’T LOOKING FOR WIVES ANYMORE. That doesn’t mean all of men are averse to eventually getting married, but men don’t wake up every day wondering if it’ll be the day that their Pretty Princess comes to melt their heart. Men don’t need to wait for a woman to walk down the aisle to feel as though they’ve reached the pinnacle of manhood — it’s not the 195os anymore and men are as committed to their own happiness and excellence as they could ever be to a girl.

THEY’RE BECOMING THEIR OWN WIVES. Thanks to the breakdown of gender norms and the ability of men not only to keep their house affairs in order but to excel in tasks like cooking, men are now able to provide themselves all the benefits wives used to provide them. Men don’t need a girl to cook for them or clean their house — they’ve got that locked down already. Men don’t even need a wife for kids; if they really want to become fathers, there are ways to achieve that without having to tie the knot with someone they’ll just end up divorcing a few years later.

TOO MANY GIRLS ARE INTIMIDATED BY STRONG MEN. Men are not going to weaken themselves or play off our goals and accomplishments as no big deal when they’ve worked their butts off to get where they are. Too many girls can’t handle being with a man who won’t let her control everything. Men demand the best in every area of their lives and certainly won’t put up with little girls who either feel threatened by masculinity or feel the need to try and tear them down to assuage their own egos.

So what’s a man to do? Honestly, not much other than to just keep doing you unless someone worthwhile comes along and makes you want to be in a long, committed relationship or get married.

— EDITORIAL NOTES —

Ladies: Did this post annoy/upset you? Did it come across as super condescending and insulting? Good. Because it was almost a word-for-word copy of a self-congratulatory article I found that was originally written by a woman for women that is tragically representative of many articles I’ve read on women/singlehood. I just switched the pronouns to jar us out of our delusional sneering. We have got to stop talking about ourselves like we’re Xena Warrior Princess and all the men around us are Napoleon Dynamite. You can celebrate femininity and have standards without tearing men down! Dr. Galloswag sez, “This vitriolic shoot ain’t helpin’ nobody.” Now dismount your princess carriage and go hug a man you respect.

When “I can’t” means “I don’t wanna.”

19789999 — From knowyourmeme.com. Please don’t sue me, knowyourmeme!

One of the most profound books I’ve read in my adult life, which was later turned into a feature film, is “He’s not that into you.” It sounds depressing, but it was actually pretty liberating. The main point of the book/movie is that men go after what they want. So if he’s not texting, calling, asking you out, ladies, it means that he’s not that into you. Or at least not into you enough. So FIDO.

This post isn’t another ramble about relationships. But the idea that “people do what they want” is a super important point that has helped me through life.

People love telling themselves they can’t. And surely, there are things you truly can’t do. Teleport, for example.* But most of the negs we proclaim about ourselves are within the realms of human possibility. Such as “I can’t do one push-up,” “I could never get an advanced degree,” “There’s no way I could put up with that person,” “I can’t get up that early,” blah blah blah, etc etc etc.

But let’s get for serious**, here. 94.6% of the time you say “I can’t,” what you’re actually saying is “I don’t wanna.” The truth is “I don’t want to spend the time training my body so I can do push-ups,” “I don’t want to spend the time, money, and mental discipline it takes to get an advanced degree,” “I don’t want to inconvenience myself to interact with that person,” “I don’t want to be disciplined in going to bed at a decent hour so that I would feel okay waking up at a certain hour,” blah blah blah etc etc etc.

It doesn’t sound as nice to put it in those terms, because then the responsibility falls back on yourself. You may feel a little guilty, lazy even. GOOD. Feel that discomfort. Maybe when you start distinguishing between your actual human limitations and the limitations you’ve placed around yourself out of laziness and lack of creativity, you’ll begin to focus on wanting good things for yourself instead of avoiding discomfort at all costs.

You do what you want. If you’re not doing it, you don’t want it enough. And that’s okay… sometimes. But just be real. You are not a helpless, passive victim of life circumstances. Your 100% may be someone else’s 24%. Your best may be someone else’s baseline. But if you want it enough, you’ll get it. Now how to have the right wants… Holy Spirit, change our hearts.

— EDITORIAL NOTES —

*If you just snorted “speak for yourself!” you need to lay off the video games for a while. Just sayin’.

**Yes, “for serious.” Did I stutter??

Let’s be real about real men.

I vainly re-read all my blog posts the other day, and I realized I probably come off as a bit of a man-basher. I want to officially declare that I do not hate or disrespect men. To the contrary, I absolutely adore the men in my life, from the cas friends up to my Pops and brother. It’s actually because I have so many great men in my life that I am so critical of Monsieur Averagé. I have seen what a man can be, and so anything less than that is an abomination.

Speaking of manliness – as promised, I have finally landed on what I personally consider “a real man.” I don’t care if a man hunts, watches football, drinks beer, or has a magnificent beard. None of those are necessary or sufficient to be a real man.

A real man is someone who uses whatever manly powers he has for others. So there are two parts here – a man can’t be a man if he’s omitting his responsibilities, and a man can’t be a man if he’s using his physical strength, social position, economic power – or whatever – to exploit or dominate others. This is why my Dad and brother, although they don’t fulfill many of the male stereotypes, are the two who immediately come to my mind when I think about “real men.” Their manliness is apparent by the happiness and security of their families who they sacrifice and work tirelessly for. As primitive as it sounds – dare I say it? – they provide and protect, out of love. They’re not weak. They use their strength for their families, not against them.

Hurrah to real men!

I will not not judge you

I would like to declare, loudly and proudly, that if the new definition of “judging” is “evaluating stuff, sometimes negatively,” then I fully embrace the title of judgmental.

We’ve all experienced it. At just the wrong moment, you accidentally make eye contact with your coworker as they slyly reach for their third piece of almond pie* and they guiltily exclaim, “Don’t judge me!” And although you truly don’t care about their pie consumption and even confide in them that you were just diving into your fourth piece, the coworker proceeds to spend the next ten minutes rambling about how clean they’ve eaten all week, that they plan to go on the Stonewall Ab Diet** as soon as the holidays are over, the first two pieces were small, etc. But let’s get real. They don’t actually want you to NOT judge them. They actually want you to say, “No prob, Bob,” or better yet, “Girl, you should be proud of eating that pie. You do you!”

Why am I rambling about this? Well, people get huffy when you express disapproval about – anything – they do, from eating too much pie to sleeping with your best friend’s wife. They then become angry because you pointed out their shame, and then try to shame you – by branding you as “judge-y.”

I declare, loudly and proudly, that if the new definition of “judging” is “evaluating stuff, sometimes negatively,” then I fully embrace the title of judgmental. I can’t believe that this has become a revolutionary statement, but it is okay to tell someone that their actions are wrong, and it is okay to tell someone that their opinions are wrong.Let’s face it, a lot of people are doing and thinking a lot of stupid shoot these days. And no, we are not compelled to respect all opinions equally. Some opinions are very well informed and logical, but too many are not. We are also not compelled to have the exact same level of respect for all people, regardless of their opinions and actions.

Granted, I try to have a baseline respect for people, if only for their great accomplishment of being a part of the human race. But let’s imagine a man who insists that Robin Williams is coming back to earth as a rainbow colored snail to lead a few devoted followers down into the core of the earth to live in toasty harmony. I am absolutely not obligated to respect snail-man as much as I respect Tim Keller ❤ , for example. It’s not that I think snail-man needs to die, or that I’m a fundamentally more valuable person than him… but I’m not going to read 8 of his books, recommend them to all my friends with wild abandon, or creepily namedrop him in 37% of my blog posts. If you really think about it, I’d wager you probably wouldn’t respect snail-man either. Please note, I don’t think that everyone who disagrees with me is this ridiculous – there are scales of absurdity, and there is a strong, inverse correlation between your absurdity and my respect for you.

In all seriousness, I hope you judge me too. I don’t want to think or do things that are dumb, wrong, or downright evil. I need people to challenge my foolishness. I especially need kind, smart people to challenge me. And yes, the degree to which I respect you will scale how much I value your challenge. Even if it makes me a little butt-hurt, “better a butt-hurt from a friend than a butt-squeeze from an enemy,” as they say.

So let’s all get over ourselves a bit and stop being self-righteously indignant about other people’s (we think) self-righteous indignation. I judge you, do you judge me? Check yes or no.

—- EDITORIAL NOTES —-

*I WILL MAKE ALMOND PIE A THING

**This should also be a thing. STONEWALL!

Okay, if you’re not a Christian you can stop here. If you are, please huddle in for a little family chat. [WARNING: about to drop some serious J-bombs!]

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Yes, Jesus did indeed say “Judge not, that you be not judged.” (Matthew 7). But He also goes on to say that you will be judged with the same measure that you judge other people with. The only measure I use to judge someone in the most serious sense of the word is whether the person 1) confesses their own imperfection and 2) realizes that Christ’s perfection in life makes his death the only and perfect way for them to be restored back to right relationship with God. And truly, I’m okay being judged by that measure. But even beyond eschatological concerns, the bible actively encourages Christians to evaluate people, especially other Christians. We are told to evaluate whether someone is full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control to determine if they are truly Christian (Galations 5:22-23; Matthew 7:16). We are also told to exhort (definition: strongly encourage / urge someone to do something) each other so we won’t be hardened by sin (Hebrews 3:13), and to confront each other when we do something wrong (Matthew 18:15-20). The Apostle Paul also strongly chastised Peter (Galations 2:11) and entire churches in his various letters (e.g. 1 Corinthians). So, it would seem evaluating other people’s actions and confronting people who are doing or thinking wrongly isn’t going against Christian teachings, it’s actually a crucial part of it. I’m assuming, however, that this is done out of love for the confrontee(s), and that the confronter(s) is perfectly aware that their *ONLY* merit is through Christ and approaches the entire issue in complete humility. But I don’t have no Doctor of Divinity, so please look into this yourself and seek out other sources.

Ladies, your femalolz are a big turn off (apparently)

..a smart, funny woman’s best bet to snag a man may be for her to limit her vocabulary to disyllabic words and giggle vapidly at his jokes.

I recently read two articles that explained my singlehood to me so beautifully. I’m not single in spite, but because, I’m so frickin’ funny* and smart**. According to this article in The Atlantic, men want women to laugh at their jokes, not to laugh at women’s jokes. The article further explained that humor correlates to intelligence, so gauging someone’s humor is a fast proxy of their intelligence. A Huffington Post article I found corroborated the first one – men find smart women – particularly women who are smarter than them – less appealing to date.

I have to say, this is the most ego-boosting reason I’ve heard lately for being single. It has nothing to do with my fashion, weird eating habits, or random quirks – men just don’t want to jump funny bones (aha, see what I did there? Whoops probably just lost a few more romantic prospects… Can’t stop this Lolz Train).

I’m torn by this news. I’ve never been so appreciative of not being appreciated, but it’s also annoying that a smart, funny woman’s best bet to snag a man may be for her to limit her vocabulary to disyllabic words and giggle vapidly at his jokes. Yes, I take this a little bit personally, but it’s also the principle of the matter.

But before we women commit ourselves to indignantly blowing the Shofar of Shame and call out men for being insecure pricks, let’s consider several alternative explanations.

Maybe men don’t actually think “funny women” are funny

This is hard to handle, but it’s possible that the same jokes that split your girlfriends’ sides are just lamé to the Monsieur Averagé.

Maybe self-deprecating humor from females makes men uncomfortable

Men could be horrified that if they laugh too loudly, the woman will suddenly burst into tears or judo chop him for not protesting that her thighs in those tight pants don’t actually remind him of a partially busted can of crescent rolls. This whole scenario might make men so tense they rather just make fun of themselves instead and let the women laugh at their expense.

Maybe funny women seem more likely to mock men mercilessly

Waxing poetic and being romantical is already putting men into a position of emotional, sometimes physical, vulnerability. Perhaps the thought of a woman mocking him in her own thoughts, to her girlfriends, or on a public blog post (teehee) makes the potential cost/benefit ratio too unfavorable to even consider.

Maybe intelligent women are more likely to be get offended at something random

This is kind of a stretch, but especially women in academia – even if they do have a good sense of humor – seem more likely to go off on a rant about male privilege, act insulted when he tries to hold the door for her… or you know, get riled up by a documentary about bra burners and start refusing to shave her legs.

..I don’t know, really. I’m just trying to be gracious here, and think more creatively. Why don’t you speak for yourselves, men?

Do you consciously find funny/smart females less attractive? If a woman gets too funny do you think to yourself “Oh snapz, she’s funnier than me. Gotta go find someone who is so dull that she’ll find my lamé jokes hilarious.”? Or is it more implicit, and you just happen to think that women who are really smart are also arrogant, nerdy, or annoying? Or is this research just dealing in averages, but YOU’RE no Monsieur Averagé, and actually actively seek out smart and funny women? I mean, I know funny smart married women, so obviously it’s not a huge turn off for all men. But.. did currently married women tone down this part of themselves while they were dating?

I’m genuinely curious – I promise I want to know the truth of the matter and I won’t publicly accuse you of being a jerk-face. Although privately I may make a little voodoo doll and tell it jokes all day just to be spiteful.

— EDITORIAL NOTES —

*Mama sez I’m funny.

**Mama sez I’m smart, too.

I wish you all a life of discomfort and unease

If you are never uncomfortable, your body and soul will shrivel.

I used to spend a large portion of my life avoiding situations and people who made me feel uncomfortable. For a while I was pretty successful, but I also succeeded at crafting a blank life. Now I don’t exactly enjoy the discomfort, but I accept it. My sage #gallowadvice to you all is to stop avoiding uncomfortable situations. If you are never uncomfortable, your body and soul will shrivel. Here are some examples from my own life.

Strength Training / Running

My body prefers to sit on a soft cushiony couch, in air conditioning. On the other hand, running until I feel like my heart is going to explode or lifting a weight even when my muscles are shaking is suck-y. But it makes me better. It enables me to do the things I really enjoy, like hiking. It helps me help other people, like by helping a friend move. It helps me live longer so I can continue blessing the world with my existence, like by writing brilliant nonsense for 10 people to enjoy each week. Exercise is uncomfortable, but it is confidence boosting, gives me more energy, opens up new opportunities for me to enjoy life, and keeps me around longer (lucky you). Most importantly, it makes me a sleek tigress.

Public Speaking

My anxiety around public speaking used to be really, really severe. When I was in college and the professor of a class wanted us to go around the room and introduce ourselves, I would hide in the bathroom until I was sure enough time had passed that we would have moved on to a different activity. Even now, I get pretty worked up about any speaking engagement, whether it’s to a group of five faculty or giving a guest lecture to 150 bored undergrads. I sweat, listen to Eye of the Tiger, and do push-ups in my office to use up my wild nervous energy. Yet, almost every speaking engagement I’ve had in the past 3 years or so has been really successful. Presentations on my research are good for my career. Leading a discussion or giving a lecture can be confidence boosting. My audiences almost always give me overwhelmingly positive feedback. And sometimes, my presentations are required so that I can check a box and move that much closer to graduation. Public speaking is uncomfortable, but has preceded pretty much every accomplishment or noteworthy success in the past 6 years of my life.

Being friends with leftists

Look y’all, I wish I had the luxury of believing that everyone who disagreed with me was either evil, an idiot, or both. But I don’t. I know super intelligent, kind people – even people who share the same faith as me – who have radically different views on how government should work and what policies promote human flourishing. Knowing this forces me to revisit my own hard-set beliefs, think more deeply about how I came to that conclusion, and identify the assumptions my reasoning is based on – and evaluate whether those are correct or not. It’s irritating. But it’s helped me refine what I believe and become better able to communicate with people who don’t share the same underlying assumptions about life as I do. Being friends with leftists is uncomfortable, but it sharpens me.

Being a Christian in academia

Along the same lines, being a person who believes there is a supernatural reality while pursuing a career in a field that limits reality to whatever is material, observable, and generally repeatable is.. awkward. It has forced me to think about really difficult questions about my faith, from broadly abstract and philosophical to narrowly applied and practical. Sometimes I wish I could live in a community in which everyone has the same baseline assumptions about how the world works, why we’re here, and what comprises reality. But I think that would make me intellectually and spiritually complacent, and I never would have been motivated to seek out answers to really irritating and scary questions. Being a Christian in academia is uncomfortable, but it has actually strengthened my faith overall to know it can hold up under fire.

Having friends and family

People ask things of me. They disrupt my schedule. They want me to eat foods I wouldn’t normally eat at times I wouldn’t normally want to eat. They hurt my feels. They drain my energy, especially when they are going through rough times. They take up my precious time. But a life without those inconveniences is.. empty. Making sacrifices for my friends and family can be uncomfortable, but my friends and family are my support, a large part of my purpose in life, and a large source of my lolz.

**SURPRISE TWIST**

I also hope that I make you uncomfortable. Why? Because in the hyper-offendable culture of the present day, the only way you can possibly avoid making someone uncomfortable is to stop saying or doing anything. I used to add “of importance,” but people actually get worked up about this blog sometimes, y’all. Thus proving that even the nonsensical of all nonsense can rub someone the wrong way. Not that I go out of my way to offend people, but I also will not delete posts that I believe in (yes, I “believe” even in the silly ones). Doing and saying things makes people uncomfortable, but doing and saying stuff – especially of importance – is worth enduring a little push back.

So my darling readers, I urge you to review your life and notice how discomfort and struggle are the annoying but necessary parents to success, action, depth, and joy. And now with a tear in my eye and love in my heart — I wish you all moderate discomfort, today and forevermore. ❤

Singles Conference Debunks Grace Myth

“Now, I am free to quickly judge instead of bothering with the drudgery of loving someone who has made mistakes.”

Atlanta, GA – Thousands of Atlanta singles poured into Germinate Georgia Church this weekend to attend a conference on Singlehood, Dating, and Marriage by visiting pastor Rev. Bobby Jehosephat Murray. Intrigued by the enthusiastic tweets that had popped up on my twitter feed (“Revolutionary!” and “Murray on Fire! #SDMConference”), I loitered outside of Germinate Georgia Church on the night of the last session and was able to snag a few attendees for an interview.

Amanda Jackson, who drove all the way from Chattanooga TN to attend the conference, raved “Reverend Murray did an excellent job explaining how romantic relationships fall outside of the overarching message of Christianity. If I hadn’t attended the conference, I never would have understood these special exemptions.” Intrigued, I asked her to expand on this idea. “Well, I was always taught that Jesus’ death, life, and resurrection meant that I didn’t have to live in guilt and shame about my past, but could live in freedom. But Rev. Murray explained that while that’s mostly true for all other types of behaviors that hurt myself and others, there’s no true forgiveness for sexual sin. And, we should make sure that we frequently remind and judge each other for our past mistakes.”

She rolled up her sleeve excitedly, to show freshly inked tattoos that she had felt led to get after a particularly guilt-inducing conference session. I peered closely to read the delicate cursive in neat rows, surprised to find a list of juicy tidbits, such as “Made out in the backseat of C.S.’s car, 04/03/09” and “Allowed E.C. to cop a feel, 03/25/10”. Amanda continued glowingly “I got these to ensure that I never get cocky about where I stand in the family of God. Now if I ever start to feel free, or a good man starts to pursue me, I have an easy reminder of who I really am and how I don’t deserve any blessings.” An additional bonus, she added, was that now her brothers in Christ could quickly read through her past failures and save themselves from being tainted by her waywardness.

Amanda’s friend Dan Bowman, a friend of Amanda’s who attended the conference with her (they drove in separate cars), was particularly approving of his friend’s tattoos. “As a man who has protected himself from impurity my entire life, I was always a little bummed by the mainstream Christian message that my good works are like filthy rags to God– and that some philandering frat boy who literally decided to follow Jesus yesterday would have the same access to God and His blessings as I did. It never sat right with me.” Dan blew out his breath in exasperation. “But Rev. Murray was so encouraging. Now I know that my behavior has earned me the right to a flawless Christian woman as my wife.” He added, “It’s relieving to know that my hard work is worth something.”

Both Dan and Amanda agreed that another enlightening session had really relieved their anxieties about how to treat anyone they dated. “It was always so messy to try to figure out how to honor someone as a human being instead of just looking at them through the lens of their past,” chimed in Amanda. “Now, I am free to quickly judge instead of bothering with the drudgery of loving someone who has made mistakes.” When I asked them about how Rev. Murray explained the role of Mary Magdalene, Rahab the prostitute, Tamar and others, they both replied in unison, “Liberal propaganda.” Dan then offered me a gloved hand – kindly explaining he has a strict rule of no skin-to-skin contact with a female outside of his family – and he and Amanda headed off into the night (Amanda asked me to pointedly note that her Dad was also present).

For more information on this new theology, stay tuned for Rev. Murray’s new book “Sexual Sin: Debunking the grace myth” coming out this Spring.