“If you don’t have something good to blog, don’t blog anything at all.”
^Solid advice, mes amis- which I will boldly ignore.
I try to be somewhat orig and not just use my blog as an outlet to rant,* but rant I shall.
Yes! Soar, cockatoo, soar! (image from pixabay)
Most of my close friends and associates know that getting my PhD – instead of launching me into the future like a confident cockatoo – has lobbed me into a full-blown identity crisis. I find this intensely annoying, as 16 year old Galloswag pretty much charted out her life until “get PhD,” with complete confidence that Dr. Galloswag could take it from there. Well guess what, y’all – Dr. Galloswag is feeling like a lost pool noodle being tossed about the stormy waves of Life. #poetry
But to the main crux of my rant – people cannot stand this identity crisis of mine. They want to solve it – NOW! So many people have solved my identity crisis in a mere 30 minutes, it’s truly amazing. The only problem is, after they cobble together my life plan as I sit there nodding dumbly, the inner Galloswag sez, “NOOOOOOOOO!” And I’m back to square one.
So what is the purpose of this rant – not to be ungrateful to anyone who has tried to help me process through my options – but to offer a helpful shot of wisdom to my fellow identity-crisis-ers. As ol’ Solly sez, “With many counselors [plans] succeed.”** But if I may add, sometimes many counselors bring chaos. Especially if all the counselors are confidently telling you completely different things. At some point, we analytic-paralytics need to just bite the bullet and make a decision. A decision that 9/10 of our counselors will be gravely disappointed in (the people-pleaser in me writhes in agony at the very idea!).
^me after the 37th person gives me advice that if I don’t follow, my life will be ruin’t. (image from pixabay)
So the second purpose of this rant, I s’pose, is if you happen to be a counselor— slow your roll. You don’t need to solve someone else’s life. Most of the time they just want someone to listen to them and be supportive, but they need to figure things out on their own. Trust me – it’s better this way —- so when they inevitably screw up their life they can’t blame it on you š teehee
When Iām mad, I sputter angrily. When Iām sad, I cry piteously. When Iām guilty, my tummy feels nauseatingly twisty. When I lolz, itās a wild cackle, sometimes accompanied with hearty snorts. When Iām infatuated, I feel like throwing tulip petals over Atlanta as I fly around on a magic carpet with my infatuater.
Not to get too off-topic, but my Scrabble game is ON POINT (image from pixabay)
As you can imagine, stoicism is not my strong suit.
A few years ago, I got tired of being feelsy. And guess what? I was successful! During these years, I truly had less drama. I didnāt get mad or cry very much. Life was so serene. But, I never want to go back to that place.
Why? Because I also didnāt lolz very much. Most disappointingly, there was not even *one* magic carpet ride. š„
Why? Well, the secret to stop feeling is to stop loving and caring about people. You cannot love without hurting.* Except myself, of course. I somehow manage to never stop caring about myself. And thatās just an icky way to live.
If you pride yourself on being ādrama free,ā or brag that you donāt really grieve over your exes or lost friendships ā shame on you. What are you gaining, except numbness to the people around you? No thank you, Louie Baloo.
Give me the angry sputters, give me piteous cries, give me the tummy twists. Because they are a symptom of caring and loving. And because magic carpet rides are SO worth it. *snorts*
^Legit (image from pixabay)
— EDITORIAL NOTES —
*At least for a feeler like me. If you are a stoĆÆque d’amour, WRITE YOUR OWN BLOG.
The libra part of me insists that I offer a balanced view of this. Obvs, some people are able to take very loving action without feeling particularly worked up. And itās probably not healthy to always be at the extreme ends of positive and negative emotions.
Okay, so youāre a rocket scientist…Ā that donāt impress me much.Ā – Shania Twain
As dangerous as a little knowledge is, even more dangerous is much knowledge without a strong, principled character. Ā – Ghandi
And if I ā¦ understand all mysteries and all knowledge, ā¦ but have not love, I am nothing.Ā – 1 Corinthians 13:2*
This year I graduated 22nd grade. You heard me ā a full decade of post-high-school education! Yowza. Iāve been deep in the dark recesses of academia for a while, surrounded by all the smartie-pants.
They are many fab things about working around and being friends with smarties. They sharpen you. They donāt let you get away with lazy thinking, or holding too tightly to untested assumptions. Even my lunches have been subject to the critical appraisal of my labmates, no lolz. So, I highly recommend having at least a few hard-core smarties in your life.
Shania gets it, y’all.
**BUT** please donāt romanticize the intelligentsia. Being smart and/or educated (trust me, these are not mutually inclusive!) just means that .. youāre smart and educated. It doesnāt make you a good friend, it doesnāt give you good character, it doesnāt give you wisdom. It doesnāt even necessarily mean that you live out what you know. Seriously ā people accuse Christians of being hypocritical, but great googly moogly! I know so many academics who ā in stubborn refusal to acknowledge decades of nutrition research Ā ā rebelliously guzzle diet cokes and stuff pizza in their faces as they listen to a talk on the risk factors of Alzheimerās disease.**
Smarties can also be arrogant and dismissive, especially to those who are not as intellectually gifted. #dumblivesmatter
Smarties can also apply their knowledge in a destructive way. I hate to play the Nazi card, but Iām going to play the Nazi card. Germans were highly educated. They werenāt in-bred rednecks who got super drunk one night and decided to go on a killing spree. There is a horrifying logic to eugenics, actually.
So whatās my point — not that being intelligent makes you evil. Itās just.. one ā and only one – Ā feature thatās pretty coolio. But please, please donāt over-glorify it. Being loving, kind, joyful, a peacemaker, humble, good, faithful, gentle, having self-control*** those are the qualities that are truly unique and praiseworthy. Maybe being intelligent will help you live some of these out more fully, but being smart is not sufficient, and probably not even necessary to have this kind of character.
So sure – letās all give up a golf clap for smart people, but letās not go into standing ovation territory. And if you happen to be brilliant, get over yourself – and make sure you seek out the mentorship of people who will help corral your smarts for good and not evil.
There seems to be a social contagion with romance and attraction, and I have a strong suspicion that males have special sensors that alert them to females who just recently went on a date. Many of my friendsĀ and I haveĀ been through seasons of life in which we were tortured with an invasion of men who are great in some ways, but have preexisting conditions that make them unsuitable for the long haul. Lo, they’re suddenly all around you, like a heavily cologned swarm of brosquitos.
Initially this is all Itās raining men, Hallelujah!Ā But quickly it becomes Poor poor pitiful me | Oh these boys won’t let me be | Lord have mercy on me | Woe woe is me!*Ā What is a girl to do? Should you casually date one, some, or all Jo-Jo(s) indefinitely until Prince Perfecto** comes riding in? Is someone better than no one?
Pfft. Only if you want to ruin your life, bring shame to your family and community, and contribute to global warming!Ā Please consider the following –
– Ā Opportunity Cost, yoĀ If youāre out with Jo-Jo, Prince Perfecto may notĀ pursue you because heāll see that youāre taken. And he might even judge you a little for having a taste for Jo-Jo. And honestly.. can you blame him? Or, you’ll be so distracted that you won’t even notice or be emotionally available when he does put out “feelers” for your interest.
– Ā Remember the ghosts of Jo-Jos pastĀ I have a good amount of respect for most of the men Iāve dated, but there are some man-childrenĀ who I’m … remorseful … to have ever dated. So if you’re askingā, “What do I have to lose by going on a few dates with this guy?” Galloswag sez,Ā “Your dignity, woman!
–Ā Ā Have a heartĀ Even if youāre a rough and tough woman whoĀ can easily date without getting attached, that āfill-inā youāre dating may not share your vision for having no vision of a future with him. It’s pretty ru-ru and selfish toĀ waste someone’s time. #JoJoFeelsMatter
–Ā Ā Get an accountabuddy!Ā Have a friend ā I find older, married women especially helpful for this ā whom you feel comfortable sharing your dating life with. Tell them what’s up, even when your dating life is a horror show. A few times, a major motivatorĀ for me to prevent a Jo-Jo-continuationĀ was knowingĀ that I would have to explain myselfĀ later to a woman I had deep respect for.
– Get out of the Jo-Jo pond Sometimes we tally our catches, rank them, and then choose whoever is at the top. But don’t get tunnel vision and feelĀ pressured into choosingĀ between your currently available options. SometimesĀ ānone of the aboveā is the right answer.
Not wasting time with Jo-Jos may notĀ automatically cue the entrance of Prince Perfecto (who hasĀ apparently been in a deep coma from the moment you came of age), but I do promiseĀ it will help prevent your soul from being pummeled with upsettedness and futility in the meantime. Stay strong, my shimmering stars of singleness!
This is how I see all of my single sistren. Try not to get to emotional! (pixabay Ā free images)
— EDITORIAL NOTES —
*The Weather Girls and Linda Ronstadt, respectively.
**I actuallyĀ mean Mr. Ideal, but Prince Perfecto is both an alliteration and rhymes with Jo-Jo andĀ I couldnāt resist. #artisticlicense
I’m not a mom, but I could play one on TV. Harhar, just kidding. Okay restart – I’m not a mom, but I still want to post about mommyhood because even as an adult (so they tell me), my mom still plays a big role in the Life of Galloswag.*
Perhaps ironically, the older I get the more I want my mom’s advice. I guess once I pushed past my hormone-addled, continuously-angsty teenage years, I started to appreciate how frickin’ wise my Majer is.
Perhaps ironically-er, the more I want my mom’s advice, the less specific her advice has become. Recently I was stunned by her complete disinterest to micro-manage my life, even when I kinda wanted her to.
For example- Ā last week, after I near-tearfully poured out my woes about a dramatic situation that was 100% my own making, she laughed and said, “You have a good head on your shoulders. You’ll figure it out.” And that was it. No lecture, no judgement, no step-by-step instructions. And honestly, even though I felt like a lost little girl, I realized my mom thought of me as a smart, grown-ass woman with good character. I’ll tell ya, that was so much more effective and uplifting than a judge-y lecture with specific instructions would have been.
So don’t worry sweet (hot?) mamas- you will always be needed, even when your babies are adulting with the best of ’em. But what your lil babies will need is going to change. Instead of dictating every move of your adulabies life, you can show confidence in their character to make the right moves. Hurrah! Take a load off š
ā¤ ya Mom! *smoochiesā*
My mom used to say, “Who’s my baby girl?!” And I’d giggle gleefully and reply, “I am!” Now my mom’s like, “Who’s my grown woman?!” And I smile wistfully Ā and reply, “I am.” Ā #woot
— EDITORIAL NOTES —
*Coming to a theater near you in 2028 (just in time for my Presidential bid)
This is the longest and least funny of all my posts, but I felt led to share because my dread and avoidance of public speaking held me back socially and professionally for a depressingly long time. I ruled out entire jobs or career tracks if they involved talking to groups of people in any sort of formal way. In undergrad, on the first day of the semester, I would excuse myself to use the restroom so I wouldn’t have to introduce myself to the class. I would have a sick feeling in my tums for weeks leading up to a presentation, and when the time finally cameĀ I would just mumble through it as quickly as possible. Finally when I realized I *had* to go to grad school, and in grad school I would *have* to present stuff pretty often, I began to not just suffer through presentations or talks, but actually try to be good at them. It has been a long road full of embarrassing stumbles and inappropriate sweating, but now I’m not bad and kind of enjoy speaking in front of people. So, for those of you who would rather burn off your left pinky toe than speak in front of people, here is some advice from a former public speaking coward just like you.Ā
Ā Care about what you’re saying more than what people think about youĀ When you focus on the best way to convey the info you’re presenting, you stop worrying as much about what you look and sound like. Sometimes it helps to take a step back from your talk and think about what you would want to hear someone else cover if they were giving the same talk. It’s not about you, it’s about the info.
Love your audience, even when they’re ru-ruĀ Empathize with what it’s like to sit and be confused by a rambling speaker. Remember how bored you’ve been, and how it never made you hate or disrespect the speaker. Not once, but *twice* someone has fallen into a deep slumber during one of my presentations. One was an undergrad, but the other was the most prestigious faculty member in my grad program. I won’t lie, it actually made me laugh out loud. Some of the feedback on my talk was, “not sure why Alzheimer’s Disease is funny..” I also had a few sorority girls who used to mean-mug me whenever I taught. I highly recommend that you make a decision to think that sort of stuff is hilarious instead of intimidating, and carry on like your BFFs with everyone in the audience.
Don’t look at people who make you nervousĀ There are some people – my own advisor, actually – who I *cannot* look at while I talk. Some people’s “listening faces” just come across distractingly grumpy, disdainful, bored, angry, etc. Don’t be derailed by accidental RBFs! I suggest looking for those 2-3 ppl who smile bravely and pleasantly throughout your talk, and talk to them.
Don’t plan to be funnyĀ This may shock those of you who know my jocular nature, but I **never** plan to crack up my audience. I’m not saying don’t use humor – but 1) if you plan for humor and get very nervous, it usually falls flat and makes you all the more uncomfortable and 2) it’s usually funnier if it’s genuinely in the moment. Trust me – nothing will give your audience the squirmies more than feeling vicarious embarrassment for you after a failed joke.
Practice saying your talk out loud, especially transitionsĀ This is an absolute must for me. Even if I can see an image, concept, or info very clearly in my own head (I often organize info in my head as a flow chart, vin diagram, or some other spatial organization), when I start to say it out loud, sometimes I realize it’s *really* difficult to communicate what’s in my head to any human being. One of my sisters is the best at Gallociphering, but most people are lost. So even if you have a great PowerPoint presentation and it all makes sense in your own head, take an hour or two to actually say your talk or presentation out loud. It’s best if you have a friend willing to subject themselves to the torture of listening to your practice. But, it can also work to give your talk to the mirror, or record it on your phone so it you have a bit more pressure to keep from lapsing into “saying” it in your own head. I’m also strangely sensitive to the feel of a room – fluorescent lighting and the smells in nasty old rooms nauseate me when I’m already nervous. So, if possible, try to practice in the same room that you’ll be speaking in. Or at the very least, take a peak and know what the set up will be like.
Don’t write out word for word notesĀ Ā If you don’t have enough time to go through your entire talk, practice saying transitions and main points out loud. What your audience needs the most help with is getting the “take-aways” and drawing the connections between the info you’re presenting. Everyone has to figure out what works best for them, but I’ve found my talks go best when I memorize main points, transitions between slides, and the most complicated or technical concepts and details in my talk. But for the “filler” stuff in your talk, I would leave a little flexibility for yourself to improvise to a certain degree, so you’re not woodenly reading off a script. How much flexibility you give yourself will need to scale with your comfort in public speaking in general. When I first started speaking, I would clam up and go into autopilot, and just rattle through the bare minimum info. But as you get more experience, you’ll become become more comfortable going a little slower, pausing in-between points or slides to make sure you’ve covered everything, or coming up with examples on the fly.
Own your screw upsĀ Sometimes I forget a pertinent piece of info, or a sentence I had smoothly rehearsed comes out as a incoherent jumble of nonsense. In the past this would have mortified me and ruined the rest of my talk. But I’ve learned that it works fine to pause, offer an endearing smile, and say something like, “Let me try that again.” And then carry on.
Visualize successĀ As goofy as it may sound, vividly imagining myself KILLING IT in a talk gives me confidence when I’m actually up there. Whatever you do, don’t imagine yourself failing. You are likely to prophesy your own failure.
PrayĀ Not just for yourself, but for your audience members, too. Especially if they’re going to be evaluating you in some way (e.g. decide whether or not you deserve this job), pray they will be filled with graciousness. Personally, it’s important for me to be anchored in the knowledge that I have access to the most intelligent, powerful being in existence – it reallllly makes those mortal, fallible committee members and undergrads seem much less threatening.
Enjoy it!Ā I used to consider public speaking a miserable ordeal. If anything, I just hoped to survive without dishonoring the family name. But seriously, it’s possible to actually have fun while you speak. Although public speaking DOES have the potential to humiliate you in front of a lot of people, it also has the potential to make you shimmer like a competent diamond in front of a lot of people! Think about how difficult it is to get people’s attention and have influence. Yet for 30 min to an hour, you have a whole room of people’s attention and the opportunity to influence, teach, or convince them of something! Yowza! Don’t waste it š
I talk a lot about how to Forget It and Drive On (aka FIDO), but I was recently convicted about how narrow minded I have been. Some of you don’t feel like FIDOing, but want to Remember and Stay Here (RASH). In honor of symmetry and inclusivity, I’m offering 10 steps that are guaranteed to kick any efforts at FIDOing right where it hurts. This is especially helpful for RASHing when it comes to romantical angst. Lean in and listen up!
Poster RASH child. He’s even sitting down. (pixabay free image)
1) Talk about your heart break obsessively
Talk about it with your mom, sister, friends, hairstylist, Trader Joe’s cashier.. Don’t be duped by sneaky changes of subject – whenever anyone tries to distract you and talk about something uplifting, skillfully work around that positivity and drive your depressing convo down the court (SPORTS REFERENCE!! WHAT?!).
2) Create shrines in physical spaceĀ
This is how you should think about your local Wendy’s (pixabay free image)
Did you used to get frosty’s with your ex-bf at your neighborhood Wendy’s? Make sure you declare this space Sacred and try to create as few new memories there as possible. That way, if/when you do find yourself at that Wendy’s, you can be flooded with memories of that person. When the moment is right, make sure you confide quietly to your friend group, “I’m sorry.. it’s just that.. we always used to come here for Frosty Friday.” Then let a gentle river of tears run down your cheeks. Quiver your lips for extra effect.
3) Picture obsessĀ
Let’s pretend this dude is staring at a picture (pixabay free image)
Donāt let personal time go to waste doing anything productive or refreshing. Jump on the interwebs, and go through every picture you and your past love ever took together – especially ones that mark momentous occasions (e.g. the first night you kissed). Zoom in on the person’s face. Think about how great you looked together. Print out the pic that brings back the most painful, bittersweet memories, and post on your ceiling so itās the first thing you see every morning.
4) Define yourself by your pain Ā
It’s important to make sure that this event defines you. You are no longer a 27 year old female with a PhD, you are aĀ heart-brokenĀ 27 year old female with a PhD.
5) Never stop asking āBut.. Why???!ā
This is the way to understand why she broke up with you. (this is a meme.. surely no copy-right issues here…?? PLEASE DON’T SUE ME)
Make every attempt to understand every action and intent that led to the situation. Whatever you do, never think to yourself “I may never know – that person’s behavior and those events could have arisen for several different reasons, and that’s okay.” No maāam! Ā It is *not* okay! I suggest making a string-conspiracy board to figure it out.
6) Revel in the dramaĀ
^sepia is an excellent way to intensify your feels. (pixabay free image)
Whether you’re feeling sad, mad, guilty, jealous, etc., make sure you just dive headfirst in that ocean of dramatic feels. Make it clear to everyone that you are A LITTLE EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW. One of my fave ways to do this is to post cryptic, depressing status updates on social media.
7) Split your life epochs around the event / personĀ
Thinking about your life in years, education (e.g. high school, college, grad school), or jobs will not do. The period of your life before you dated Jo-Jo is now “Pre- Jo-Jo” and the time after “Post- Jo-Jo”. Everything hinges on this event. It has split your heart, therefore it must split your life.
8) Refuse to cut your losses or accept that you may have been snookered (aka taken advantage of)Ā
If you think someone wronged you, obsess over how you could have avoided the situation in the first place, how you can seek revenge, or how you can avoid EVER being taken advantage of again. Bonus: guaranteed to ruin all future relationships, romantic or otherwise!
9) Make playlist of feelsy music
Think along the lines of James Blunt’s “Goodbye my Lover.” Whatever music gives you the feels and reminds you of the person, play it loud, play it proud, play it on a loop.
10) Binge watch movies and TV shows that give you the feels
Similarly, stick in that rom com or rom dram that reminds you the most of your relationship when it was happy, and let your ticker marinate in the misery. Think about how your reality was so close to whicheverĀ fictional story. Decide that you deserve for that fictional story to be your life.
Good luck, RASHers!Ā Let me know how this goes for you!
Have any more useful RASH tips? Please send them into me!
Remember when you were a kiddo, and you used to play make-believe? Wasn’t that jolly?? Okey, then! Let’s play make-believe for une minuto.
A gross looking pot of soup, from pixabay images.
***
Connie is making a pot of soup for a large crowd of people. There was a general consensus after the early taste-test that the soup really needed salt. So, Connie starts adding one grain of salt at a time.
Then Libby storms the kitchen, shoves Connie away from the stove, and screeches, “This isn’t progressing like it should!” She proceeds to dump an entire cup of salt into the soup and serves it to the guests.
When asked to explain her brash actions, Libby snorts, “Connie wasn’t getting anything done. We needed that tasteless soup changed NOW!” But many guests grumble about the salty disaster they were served. When Libby hears them, she huffs, “You just love tasteless soup! Plus, I prefer over-salty to under-salty.” Ā Some of Connie’s closest friends snap back testily, “But we prefer under-salty to over-salty!”
Outstanding artistry of coins, also from pixabay images.
Ā So don’t be an Extra Eliza. And don’t advocate for change or progress solely because it’s different from now, even if now kind of sucks. Let’s get behind smart changes – with an actual end-goal in mind Ā – instead of simply, “anything but this!”Ā ThatĀ will be progress. Then we can all eat a tasty, nicely salted soup. Hmmm.. delicious.
When Iām interviewed by the press, a question that comes up often is the ancient and revolutionary technique of FIDOing. As most of you all know,* learning how to FIDO has drastically changed my life. But as my interviewers and fans often ask pleadingly, how exactly does one FIDO? Well luckily for humanity, here’s one solid tater tot of an example for you to tuck away into your mind’s jean pocket.
If you free yourself from Jo Jos, you will be immediately teleported to this dock so that you too can strike an epic pose just as the sun sets.
*drum roll*
Just say No-No to the Jo-Jos in your life. Who are Jo-Jos? In my particular case, Jo-Jos are guys who I dated for very small amounts of time, and then valiantly attempted to remain friends with afterward. As much as it pains me deep in the psoas to admit this, it didnāt work. Usually one of the following happened: 1) we tried to be friends and one of us realized we hated the other (or the disgust was mutual) 2) we didn’t really try to be friends but their very social media presence spiked my blood pressure** 3) now they’re engaged/married and I just feel like a creepy stalker seeing the intimate details of their precious budding ‘ship.
Btdubs, I’m not saying these guys are intentionally trying to be Jo-Jos, but in any case interacting with them tends/ tended to almost always give me bad feels. And life is too short to subject yourself toĀ bad feels just to prove a point to society that you can be friendly-like after being romantical. I will let someone else die on that hill, while I roll around happily in the field of friendship flowers with the sunshine of sincerity beaming down on me.
.. Anyway. So how did I say No-No to these Jo-Jos? First, I went on a social media purge. Unfriended on fb. Blocked on Instagram. Unfollowed on Spotify. Second, I plan to not engage in rando texting with flirty undertones with these Jo-Jos. I’m 2-frickin’-7 years old. Ain’t nobody got time for that. (“Poo or get off the pot,” as they say.) Third, I will not find other creepy ways to stalk them to make sure their post-Galloswag life is appropriately pathetic. No friending their sister so I can cackle over their holiday weight gain when she posts fam pics. No googling to see if they were arrested for excessive public displays of douchery. Heck naw, Jude Law.
Some of you may not be able to relate to this specific example, but everyone has Jo-Jos. If you’re a young stallion of a man, maybe you need to consider saying No-No to some Ho-Hos. If you’re happily married, maybe you need to say No-No to the Psycho you met once at that thing and now wants to tell you how to be a parent. Idk, it is up to you to identify Jo-Jos and initiate operation No-No. Each No-No operation will need to be tailored to your specific needs. The most important thing is that everything rhymes with “O.”
Now Go-Go and be free from Jo-Jos!
— EDITORIAL NOTES —
*A brief initiation for the unlearned: āThe sophisticated practice of FIDO is the key to not obsessing and making yourself miserable over circumstances and people you cannot control.ā ā Galloswag, Ph.D.
From knowyourmeme.com. Please don’t sue me, knowyourmeme!
One of the most profound books I’ve read in my adult life, which was later turned into a feature film, Ā is “He’s not that into you.” Ā It sounds depressing, but it was actually pretty liberating. The main point of the book/movie is that men go after what they want. So if he’s not texting, calling, asking you out, ladies, it means that he’s not that into you. Or at least not into you enough. So FIDO.
This post isn’t another ramble about relationships. But the idea that “people do what they want” is a super important point that has helped me through life.
People love telling themselves they can’t. And surely, there are things you truly can’t do. Teleport, for example.* Ā But most of the negs we proclaim about ourselves are within the realms of human possibility. Such as “I can’t do one push-up,” “I could never get an advanced degree,” “There’s no way I could put up with that person,” “I can’t get up that early,” blah blah blah, etc etc etc.
But let’s get for serious**, here. 94.6% of the time you say “I can’t,” what you’re actually saying is “I don’t wanna.” The truth is “I don’t want to spend the time training my body so I can do push-ups,” “I don’t want to spend the time, money, and mental discipline it takes to get an advanced degree,” “I don’t want to inconvenience myself to interact with that person,” “I don’t want to be disciplined in going to bed at a decent hour so that I would feel okay waking up at a certain hour,” blah blah blah etc etc etc.
It doesn’t sound as nice to put it in those terms, because then the responsibility falls back on yourself. You may feel a little guilty, lazy even. GOOD. Feel that discomfort. Maybe when you start distinguishing between your actual human limitations and the limitations you’ve placed around yourself out of laziness and lack of creativity, you’ll begin to focus on wanting good things for yourself instead of avoiding discomfort at all costs.
You do what you want. If you’re not doing it, you don’t want it enough. And that’s okay… sometimes. But just be real. You are not a helpless, passive victim of life circumstances. Your 100% may be someone else’s 24%. Your best may be someone else’s baseline. But if you want it enough, you’ll get it. Now how to have the right wants… Holy Spirit, change our hearts.
— EDITORIAL NOTES —
*If you just snorted “speak for yourself!” you need to lay off the video games for a while. Just sayin’.
galloblog 