Help you help me

“If you don’t have something good to blog, don’t blog anything at all.”

^Solid advice, mes amis- which I will boldly ignore.

I try to be somewhat orig and not just use my blog as an outlet to rant,* but rant I shall.

Yes! Soar, cockatoo, soar! (image from pixabay)

Most of my close friends and associates know that getting my PhD – instead of launching me into the future like a confident cockatoo – has lobbed me into a full-blown identity crisis. I find this intensely annoying, as 16 year old Galloswag pretty much charted out her life until “get PhD,” with complete confidence that Dr. Galloswag could take it from there. Well guess what, y’all – Dr. Galloswag is feeling like a lost pool noodle being tossed about the stormy waves of Life. #poetry

But to the main crux of my rant – people cannot stand this identity crisis of mine. They want to solve it – NOW! So many people have solved my identity crisis in a mere 30 minutes, it’s truly amazing. The only problem is, after they cobble together my life plan as I sit there nodding dumbly, the inner Galloswag sez, “NOOOOOOOOO!” And I’m back to square one.

So what is the purpose of this rant – not to be ungrateful to anyone who has tried to help me process through my options – but to offer a helpful shot of wisdom to my fellow identity-crisis-ers. As ol’ Solly sez, “With many counselors [plans] succeed.”** But if I may add, sometimes many counselors bring chaos. Especially if all the counselors are confidently telling you completely different things. At some point, we analytic-paralytics need to just bite the bullet and make a decision. A decision that 9/10 of our counselors will be gravely disappointed in (the people-pleaser in me writhes in agony at the very idea!).

^me after the 37th person gives me advice that if I don’t follow, my life will be ruin’t. (image from pixabay)


So the second purpose of this rant, I s’pose, is if you happen to be a counselor— slow your roll. You don’t need to solve someone else’s life. Most of the time they just want someone to listen to them and be supportive, but they need to figure things out on their own. Trust me – it’s better this way —- so when they inevitably screw up their life they can’t blame it on you 😀 teehee

Here’s to young(ish)-life crises!


*Jk. This blog is almost 100% me ranting.

**Proverbs 15:22



Adults need this the most from their moms

I’m not a mom, but I could play one on TV. Harhar, just kidding. Okay restart – I’m not a mom, but I still want to post about mommyhood because even as an adult (so they tell me), my mom still plays a big role in the Life of Galloswag.*

Perhaps ironically, the older I get the more I want my mom’s advice. I guess once I pushed past my hormone-addled, continuously-angsty teenage years, I started to appreciate how frickin’ wise my Majer is.

Perhaps ironically-er, the more I want my mom’s advice, the less specific her advice has become. Recently I was stunned by her complete disinterest to micro-manage my life, even when I kinda wanted her to.

For example-  last week, after I near-tearfully poured out my woes about a dramatic situation that was 100% my own making, she laughed and said, “You have a good head on your shoulders. You’ll figure it out.” And that was it. No lecture, no judgement, no step-by-step instructions. And honestly, even though I felt like a lost little girl, I realized my mom thought of me as a smart, grown-ass woman with good character. I’ll tell ya, that was so much more effective and uplifting than a judge-y lecture with specific instructions would have been.

So don’t worry sweet (hot?) mamas- you will always be needed, even when your babies are adulting with the best of ’em. But what your lil babies will need is going to change. Instead of dictating every move of your adulabies life, you can show confidence in their character to make the right moves. Hurrah! Take a load off 🙂

❤ ya Mom! *smoochies​*

My mom used to say, “Who’s my baby girl?!” And I’d giggle gleefully and reply, “I am!” Now my mom’s like, “Who’s my grown woman?!” And I smile wistfully  and reply, “I am.”  #woot


*Coming to a theater near you in 2028 (just in time for my Presidential bid)