Let’s put an end to pregocative photos

Ima try to say my piece and not get into too much trouble.

I know it’s easy to get grumpy about all the different shenanigans on social media, and I try not to let myself get dragged down into the mud. As a side note, if you are continuously annoyed by 80% of everything you see on social media, you may just not like people.

HOWEVER

There is one behavior on social media lately that I must raise my voice in protest.

These are pregocative [ˈpre’gäkədiv] photos.

I do think that pregnancy and motherhood are beautiful, in like a warm lovely way.. not a steamy hot way. I hope that whoever knocked up these women in the first place continues to find them insanely attractive and is not turned off by their changing bodies. But… I don’t necessarily think pregnancy and motherhood should be sexy… at least not the general public. Why do you need the world to see your enhanced cleavage looming over your enlarged belly? Let *some* things be intimate and private, for the love of all that is decent!

And while I’m on the subject, selfies of you and your baby/child that are obviously 100% motivated by showing the world your sexiness is just as inappropro.. Send those selfies to your baby daddy/mama or SO and let the single available ladies and gent shine, yeah?

What did our moms used to tell us.. if ain’t for sale, don’t advertise?

Okay thank you all xoxoxoxo

-Galloprude

Adults need this the most from their moms

I’m not a mom, but I could play one on TV. Harhar, just kidding. Okay restart – I’m not a mom, but I still want to post about mommyhood because even as an adult (so they tell me), my mom still plays a big role in the Life of Galloswag.*

Perhaps ironically, the older I get the more I want my mom’s advice. I guess once I pushed past my hormone-addled, continuously-angsty teenage years, I started to appreciate how frickin’ wise my Majer is.

Perhaps ironically-er, the more I want my mom’s advice, the less specific her advice has become. Recently I was stunned by her complete disinterest to micro-manage my life, even when I kinda wanted her to.

For example-  last week, after I near-tearfully poured out my woes about a dramatic situation that was 100% my own making, she laughed and said, “You have a good head on your shoulders. You’ll figure it out.” And that was it. No lecture, no judgement, no step-by-step instructions. And honestly, even though I felt like a lost little girl, I realized my mom thought of me as a smart, grown-ass woman with good character. I’ll tell ya, that was so much more effective and uplifting than a judge-y lecture with specific instructions would have been.

So don’t worry sweet (hot?) mamas- you will always be needed, even when your babies are adulting with the best of ’em. But what your lil babies will need is going to change. Instead of dictating every move of your adulabies life, you can show confidence in their character to make the right moves. Hurrah! Take a load off 🙂

❤ ya Mom! *smoochies​*

IMG_20170513_193116
My mom used to say, “Who’s my baby girl?!” And I’d giggle gleefully and reply, “I am!” Now my mom’s like, “Who’s my grown woman?!” And I smile wistfully  and reply, “I am.”  #woot

— EDITORIAL NOTES —

*Coming to a theater near you in 2028 (just in time for my Presidential bid)