“Snowflake” has become a derogatory term to mock the delicate nature of millennials, but it’s rooted in a desire I think most of us have – to stand apart, to be unique, to not be a lemming. The problem is that globalism, the interwebs, and Applebee’s are pretty much guaranteeing that we’re all morphing into Monsieur and Mademoiselle Averagés.
But please don’t shed a tear, my dear. I have three very simple ways – whether you’re male or female* – that you can set yourself apart like the glistening, beautific, feathery ice crystal you always knew you were.
If you’re a man:
- Initiate a plan
- Actually follow through with said plan
- Do this more than one time
You will be a man among men! Women will fall at your feet! You will get a promotion at work! If you already do this, pm me. 😉 😉 😉
If you’re a woman:
- Respond to text messages
- Actually respect the time of your squad and don’t cancel on them willy-nilly when you and I both know if *he* hit you up you’d be up and at ’em like jumpin jack flash
- Be honest with men about your feels or lack thereof and stop ghosting like a selfish little girl
Your social life will EXPLODE! Your number of confusedly spurned stalkers will DWINDLE!
There you go. If you didn’t have a New Year’s resolution already, I just gave you three! And if you’re an overachiever and resent gender dichotomies, I gave you SIX!!!!
— EDITORIAL NOTES —
*I unabashedly dichotomize men and women, and I WILL use stereotypes as much as I want!! Get over it. Shoo!
**The quotation marks are indicating you’re LYING! I literally canceled last night because I wasn’t feeling well, but this was legit. LEGIT I TELL YOU!