4 archetypical basic white girl selfies

A question that has kept me up night after night, tossing and turning anxiously, is “Am I basic??” So I took to the interwebs to do some high quality, unbiased research. I scoured the accounts of all my social media contacts who are indubitably basic, focusing specifically on profile pictures. I then coalesced my findings into 4 archetypical selfies that are strong predictors for basicity. KNOW THE SIGNS! 

1.  The Sassy Bathroom Babe

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This is a timeless classic. I cannot emphasize enough how absolutely essential the duck face and peace sign are to truly make this work, although the toilet in the periphery is the most crucial element. Granted, most basic white girls are too advanced to have posted this recently. But, if you have one of these from the ~2006-2012 era, I’m sorry to say this is a proven risk-factor for being basic.

2. The Artsy Fartsy.

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Basic white girls are compelled to show that they’re not just sassy, but they have a sensitive, artistic side. What to look out for here are selfies in which there is a beguiling mix of sadness and hope shining out of your eyes. No one has to know these emotions were evoked by watching Gossip Girl reruns.

3. The Bashful.

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This is a tricky one, designed to distract everyone from the complete vanity of you taking a picture specifically to show the world how cute you are. If you have selfies in which you are looking away modestly, as if you weren’t expecting your arm to independently snap a picture of your face, you may be guilty of the bashful. Another sure sign is if you have pictures of you smiling wistfully at the wall.

4. The Au Natural.

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Anyone can follow a youtube and contour their face to look like a slightly tackier version of Kim Kardashian, but basic white girls need their followers to know they are flawless without even a spot of make-up. ***IMPORTANT*** What to watch for here is “au natural” pics in which you have texturized, filtered, or otherwise artistically distorted your pic so that no one can really tell what’s going on with your face anyway. The experienced eye may be able to make out a roughly female profile.

 

Did I miss any key archetypes of basic white girl selfies? If so, please submit your examples!!!

 

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