According to Facebook, women are grossy-gross

I used to completely ignore all advertisements, until targeted ads became a thing. Now I’m not seeing an ad because of random chance, but because some marketing algorithm (or nefarious robot??) specifically targeted me ..because of my own browser activities, stated interests, etc.

Being the natural narcissist that I am, the new targeting strategies have made me intrigued in the ads that are selected for me. I thought it would be funsies to try to figure out what sort of niche marketing demographic I’m in – thinking they profiled me as Hip-but-No-Nonsense-Overeducated-but-Whimsical-Millennial —- but also kind of hoping they would profile me as Skilled-Assassin-with-Heart-of-Gold-and-Exquisite-Taste-in-Whiskey. But! Once I began looking into my ads — I mean realllly looking into them — I was crushed. Social media sites don’t think I’m hip or whimsical, or a badarse criminal… social media apparently thinks I’m a desperate old-maid with several, ehh.. womanly problems. 😥

For example —

desperatesingle

There is of course the ever present, ever mocking – WE KNOW YOU’RE SINGLE, JUST GET MARRIED TO A BIBLE BARRY ALREADY!!!

Parks And Recreation Donna GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

flabby

Ouchhhhh on Instagram, no less! Where I post all my pictures… somehow a robot has determined I’m high risk for fat rolls. WOW

Bruno Mars Love GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

heavyperiods

You don’t know me, Facebook! Get out of my ovaries!

Mad Comedy Central GIF by Workaholics - Find & Share on GIPHY

limppony

Even my poor lil pony isn’t safe! Geeezzzzzz

Braxton Family Values Love GIF by WE tv - Find & Share on GIPHY

pitsweats

This one I took extremely personally. Sweat is healthy and detoxifying, you jerks!!

Rachael Ray Boob Sweat GIF by First We Feast: Hot Ones - Find & Share on GIPHY

facialhair

To add insult to injury, now Facebook just assumes that I’m growing a full beard

San Jose Sharks Beard GIF by NHL - Find & Share on GIPHY

So even when I’m just trying to check up on my friends, get a few lolz for the day.. I’m told that I 1) need a man pronto 2) need to reign in my flab 3) have disgusting periods; probably due to chronic illness 4) have a lame pony game 5) have socially unacceptable pit stains 6) am turning into wolf-man.

This is just in one log-in!! And people wonder why women are so “obsessed” with our looks.. maybe because everyday we are bombarded by images telling us how disgusting we are.

Oh, but don’t forget women — love yourself and be confident!

Chelsea Peretti Eye Roll GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Find & Share on GIPHY

This girl was homeschooled for 12 years. What happened after that will have you in tears!

 

me_child
Where did Gallo get her swag?? Born with it.

Meet Lil Gallo, age 5ish. Her mom began homeschooling her a few months before her 6th birthday. What happened next?

As a child and pre-teen, she had tons of extra time to volunteer on political campaigns. Shook the President of the United States hand when she was 11 years old. During his gubernatorial campaign, Sonny Perdue knew her by name. Met a lot of amazing, crazy, interesting people.

As an older teen, she got a job in high school working 30ish hours a week. Worked there for 4 years, and received several promotions and raises. Made a lot of friends there, many of which she still keeps up via the book of faces.

During that time, she also started attending a state college as a full time student. Made some great friends of all kinds of races, religions, and political affiliations, some of whom she hangs out with 10 years later. Graduated summa cum laude in 4 years.

From there she became a graduate student at a private University. Received her Master’s degree in 2 years, and her PhD 4 years after that. Made some friends, dated some fellers, traveled around the country and world.

Currently does research, loves to meet new people and travel, and writes a mainly-idiotic blog for funsies.

But WAIT! Isn’t she mal-adjusted, socially inept, scared of the world, set back in life, etc.? No, you ignorant snobbo.

So– have some people had terrible experiences with homeschooling? Of course.. just like others have had terrible experiences with various public and private schools. Are some parents psychotic? Of course… as are some teachers and peers in more traditional schools.

I don’t really care if people homeschool their kids or not, but I do care that people have all sorts of super-negative ideas about it. This post was anecdotal, for sure — but there have also been a lot of academic studies on various aspects of homeschooling and how successful homeschoolers are by several different measures. Usually homeschoolers are just the same if not better on a variety of different outcomes — Check out this review by Brian Ray (2010), and some of these other individual studies: Lower drug use | Sleep quality | College performance.

Don’t be an uneducated buffoon about this education choice! It worked well for this Gallo 🙂

 

graduation
Purposefully blurry for anti-stalking purposes!!

 

— EDITORIAL NOTES —

NOTE: I don’t think you need to get a PhD to defend your family’s. Choice to homeschool. There is much more to becoming a successful adult who contributes meaningfully to society than your educational attainment. My point is that it’s unlikely to ruin a kid’s life, and just might free them to pursue different opportunities that will shape them for the better 🙂