7 headlines to watch out for in 2017

Which one do you think will come true??

1) Massive protest against massive protests sparks massive protest

Crowd was heard chanting “HAJABODAGIIIII!!”

 2) Coconut oil may cure conservatism

Participants who bathed daily in coconut oil showed a 2.7% decrease in ignorance.

 3) Chloe Kardashian comes out as necrophilial, blasts social conservatives for being “carbonormative.”

“‘Dead’ and ‘alive’ are social constructs.”

4) ‘Nutella for Guns’ program reduces Detroit homicides by 97%

CDC emergency obesity task-force deployed

5) Trump appoints Kanye West as Press Secretary; KKK in crisis


“Kanye is amazing and this will be a tremendous opportunity that will be terrific. The blacks will love me.” – President Trump

6) Indianan Drug cartel outraged to find traces of pre-workout supplement in meth

“What kind of country we livin’ in, when a man can’t trust the quality of his crank no more?” – Jo-Jo Bobby Raybanz

7) Author of Galloblog interviewed by Jimmy Fallon on the Tonight Show. 



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