The disturbing truth about Galloblog’s readers

MOST OF THEM ARE MALE CHAUVINIST WEIRDOS!

.. This excludes my fb fam, of course … !

So I wrote this post a while back that was fairly straight-forward – I simply took a classic example of an article written for women that teemed with sickening fawning over the female sex and derision toward the male sex. Then, I changed the pronouns so that my lady readers would “woke” and realize that the way we talk about ourselves – especially in relation to men – is often very offensive.

Anyway – it’s one of my only posts that could be considered an “evergreen.” That is – I actually still consistently get daily hits from rando interwebbers on this blog post, even though it died a quick death in fb world.

Today I was looking over the search terms that people use to find my blog, and the overwhelming majority of them are “unknown search terms.”

 

galloblog_searchterms_pie
I usually make up my own data and facts for this blog, but this is for real. Hot of the press! Pie chart made in excel LIKE A BOSS!

 

But of that small minority of search terms that were actually registered, I was alarmed to find out that almost everyone coming to my page is a creepy male supremacist!

 

galloblog_table3
Also real search terms, I promise. Also note these quantities represent 10,000 😉 Also note I praise-handed the terms that I actually want to lead people to my blog 😀

 

Y’all… I don’t know what to do. My only kinda-long-term-successful post is driving traffic to Galloblog from…. the Milo Yiannapoulos fan club?!?

If you are reading this because you want to woman-hate, move it along. Also, I’m not patheric, YOU ARE! Lolzzzz

 

Alarmedly yours,

Galloswag

— EDITORIAL NOTES —

I’m sorry if you were expecting an actual point or conclusion to this. This was about as “about nothing” as I’ve ever posted. But holy moly! What hath Galloswag wrought?

 

 

How to keep your blog elite

IMG_20170312_132318
When you’re trying to make an elite hipster blog but you have too many followers.

I often drive to visit my fab fam in a city about 5 hours away. It is excruciating to just sit in the car by myself with my insane thoughts. So, I decided to make a video instead of write out a blog because as the great Derek Zoolander said, “[a blogger’s] life is a precious, precious commodity,” and we too can die in a freak, blog-posting-bc-bored, traffic accident.

Also I refuse to coin the term “Gallovlog” bc it sounds like a German hacking up a hairball.

ALSO if you are reading this I hope you your heart swells with pride that you are a true hipster who reads some obscure blog that no one else has heard about. 😉