The kind of man it feels good to be around 

This is a simple idea, so I apologize if your mind isn’t blown to the same degree that it usually is after reading a Galloblog – but hopefully your mind is at least poofed.

Lately I’ve been falling asleep to one of my favoritest songs in the whole world – Ashley McBryde’s daddy love song, Bible and a .44. (It sounds like a crazed redneck song, but it’s actually heart-achingly sweet.) Anyway, one line of that song that jumps out to me every time I hear it is “[he’s] the kind of man it feels good to be around.”

(These sort of simple, beautiful, strangely profound lyrics are why I love country music, despite recent assaults on its dignity by Florida Georgia Line, Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, etc.)

One reason why those lyrics strike me is that I immediately think of the men in my fam – my Dad, my Grandpa, my Grandaddy, brother, uncles, cousins.. They really do feel good to be around, and it hurts my heart sometimes just to think about it.

gramps
My grandpa. That grin! If it doesn’t make you feel good, I can’t help you.

What is this secret element that brings on these good feels? I think it’s kindness. A genuine interest in others and commitment to their well-being.. and a complete lack of self-interest. The Gallomen are confident, so they don’t need to prove themselves by obnoxiously competing with other men or by bringing down women, either overtly or covertly. ❤

But another more somber reason those lyrics strike me is how many men they *don’t* apply to.

(This isn’t a man-basher post, but just a “Ima be real” with a dash of emo.)

I have a lot of guy friends that are fun to pal around with. They can be funny. They can be charming. They can be interesting. But at the end of the day, hardly any of them – romantic or platonic alike – actually make me feel good. And some of them – after hanging out with them – I just feel… bad.

Is that their fault? Is the problem me? Who knows, and who cares. They just do.

My birthday is around the corner, which always intensifies my pensiveness and reflectivity sooooo… the action item I’m going to take away from this beautifically simple ideer is also beautifically simple: I’m going stop friending (and especially dating, amiright?) men* whom — whether or not they’re brilliant, hilarious, devastatingly handsome, Captain of the Tim Keller fan club, etc. — it feels bad to be around.** And if I may get a little dramatic … if I can’t find men who feel good to be around, better to be alone and/or surround myself with sisters from other misters and/or houseplants.

.. Oh, and I encourage you all – especially those tender young blossoms of womenfolk – to do the same *smooch*

— EDITORIAL NOTES —

*Yes, yes, women too. But the song lyric is about men, so.. just go with it.

**I’m not saying to shun people who you don’t jive with perfectly. I’m referring to people who consistently bring ickiness into your life. You don’t have to hate them, but you definitely don’t have to subject yourself to the bad feels, either.

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3 thoughts on “The kind of man it feels good to be around 

  1. Dammit, I feel like I’ve “inspired” another blog post. Even if it’s not even partially inspired by me, I’m glad I read it. I’m going to make an effort to be kinder to everyone around me, as well as to listen more/not be such an attention whore. Psalm 51:17. #WorkInProgress

    When you speak of “kind men”, it makes me think of my late brother Jimmy. Sadly, his temperament was volatile leading up to when he took his life, and his bitter resentment toward his family for his personal difficulties grew and grew until it was full blown hatred. Nonetheless, a really sweet message sent by one of the “cute/popular/cheerleader” girls at our high school, right after he committed suicide, warmed my heart so. She was saying how she came from a very difficult/awkward situation at her old school, and how she really needed a friend, and how he was a great friend and a great listener, and how she had never met someone like him, who wasn’t “expecting something in return.” If you read how sweet and sincere her original message was, you would understand what an impact it had on me. Another message, sent by an unpopular girl said that on her first day of school, Jimmy was the first to reach out to her and make her feel comfortable. Good stories to hear about a lost loved one. Thanks for reminding me about the importance of kindness. Good post. Mind definitely poofed 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “brilliant, hilarious, devastatingly handsome, … [but not kind]” These are the kinds of things I think about when I meditate upon Jesus’s words “but many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.” I think about highly successful celebrities who are reportedly dicks to their kids and spouses, and I think this saying applies to them.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, one more relevant quote:

    “When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.” Abraham Joshua Heschel

    Dat Jew wisdom tho

    Liked by 1 person

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