The Unveiling of the Evangegym!

As many of you know, I’m very passionate about health and have a borderline obsession with strength training. Recently I’ve been contemplating my next career move, and I have finally settled on the perfect idea. I plan to open an Evangegym! 

Core values of my gym –

Total Definition

  • My goal: for your WHOLE body to be ripped!

Unconditional Entrance

  • open 24/7 to members

Limited Breaks

  • No texting on weight machines!

Irresistible Glutes

  • Glutes for Life! #G4L

Perseverance of the Trained

  • Training with a certified personal trainer secures eternal fitness!
sprints
Run with the Sun and the Son! Ohhhh snapppp!!! (image from pixabay)

Classes offered

  • Pontius Pilates
  • Spirit Stretches
  • Run with the Son
  • Pressin’ for Blessin’s
  • a.m. Yoga with Yahweh
  • Rows with the Bros [in Christ]
yoga
Yoga is very Christian – those are Spirit fingers pointing to heaven! (image from pixabay)
stretching-498256_960_720
No one said it would be easy, dear ones. (image from pixabay)

Don’t ignore what’s stirring in your heart! Join my gym today by sending me a one-time, lifetime membership fee (once a member, always a member!) of $10,000 (SENIOR DISCOUNT ONLY $5,000!!).

 

bodybuilder-646482_960_720
If this pic doesn’t pump you up, I don’t know what will! (image from pixabay)

 

Let’s run the race together! 

 

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6 thoughts on “The Unveiling of the Evangegym!

  1. Hahahaha I’m in!!!! Except I can’t afford it. Do you need a janitor?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Maybe I could wash people’s feet

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’d have to wash them very vigorously in order to burn enough calories for GalloStrong’s TULIP workout plan.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yessssssss! Or you can incorporate exercise into your art. “Paint for Pecs”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are hilarious! This is great! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Teehee thanks! I think reformeds and former-reformeds may be the only ones that really got this though..

      Liked by 1 person

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