ATLANTA- State Rep. Allen Peake (R-Macon) is becoming a household name for being a trailblazer for legalizing medicinal marijuana. Earlier this year, he scored a major victory when GA Gov. Nathan Deal signed a bill expanding which diseases could be legally treated with oils derived from marijuana.
But in a recent speech, Rep. Peake revealed a bigger, more radical vision he has for the role of marijuana in the lives of Georgia citizens.
“Just imagine,” he cried, waving his arms excitedly, “if every citizen in Georgia had the freedom to stuff their turkeys with pot!”
In a follow-up interview, Rep. Peake revealed it was his love for children that drove his vision. He hopes that all children in Georgia will have the chance to smoke the wacky tobaccy before they graduate high school.
“It’s about them,” he insisted, tears welling in his eyes. “Everything I do is for the children.”
Rep. Peake disclosed that stage 1 of his plan will be to infiltrate elementary schools with information on what a natural and healthy alternative that marijuana is to Ritalin, a common drug used to treat ADHD. “Can’t focus in school? Throw out that synthetic poison and pick up some giggle sticks instead! Your grades won’t improve, but you won’t care!”
It will be interesting to see how this new plan will be received by his conservative base, but Rep. Peake is hoping that he can still any objections by slipping them some of the good stuff. “If you can’t beat ’em, joint ’em!” he giggled. I giggled too.. not sure why, and I don’t think I care anymore. Also, does anyone have any Oreos?